Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the guy !
 
1.Why did you apply for this job?
 
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.
 
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
 
I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.
 
3. Why should I hire you?
 
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
 
4. What would you do if this happened?
 
Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation...
 
5. What is your biggest strength?
 
Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company
 
6. What is your biggest weakness?
 
Girls
 
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
 
Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today
 
8.What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
 
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.
 
9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
 
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.
 
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
 
For the same reason why you left your earlier job
 
11. What do you want from this job?
 
If no work is given but keep giving good hikes
 
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
 
Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs
 
13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
 
Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website
 
14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that?
 
Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard
 
(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)

There were 4 guys John, Franky, Manav and Adam, who found a small bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that they had released him , the genie said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true."

John ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "Wine". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.
John was ecstatic.

Next came Franky. He did the same and shouted, "Vodka" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

Manav jumped and shouted, "Beer".

The last of them was Adam. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he stepped on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,


"Shit!!!!!!!........."


Moral of the story: Mind your language; you never know what it will land you in...

Hi

S/W Professionals............

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
  {
      double styles;
      short skirts;
      long time_to_understand_problems;
      float mind;
      void knowledge();
      char non_co_operative;
  };

class Married_female_Software_Professional
  {
      double weight;
      short tempered;
      long gossips;
      float hopes;
      void work();
      char unstable;
  };

class Female_Engaged_software_professional
  {
      double time_on_phone;
      short attention_on_work;
      long boast;
      float on_cloud_nine;
      void understanding();
      char edgy;
  };

class Indian_Newly_Married_software_professional
  {
      double dinner_invitations;
      short time_at_work;
      long lunch_breaks;
      float talks;
      void bank_balance();
      char hen_pecked;
  };

class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional
  {
      double income;
      short temper;
      long time_no_see;
      float new_software_company;
      void lov
   };
Class Guy_who_wrote_this
{
     Long time_on_bench;
     Void work();

}

Too Busy for a Friend..  


One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.  






Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  





It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.  





That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.  




On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments.  






No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.  





Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.  





The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.  






As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."  






After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.  






"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."  





Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.  




"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it ."




All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."  






Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."  




"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."  




Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."  

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again .

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.  

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.  
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.  

A Husband and Wife, Both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that
was born to them.
Mr. Brown, who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a
famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of a twelve
pound nugget of gold. The editor upon hearing the seemingly extraordinary
news was rather hesitant to accept it at its face value. So he sent his star
reporter to interview Mr. Brown. When the reporter came, Mr. Brown was away
and his wife was alone at home. The following interesting conversation took
place between the reporter and Mrs. Brown:

Reporter : Does Mr. Brown Live here?
Mrs. Brown : Oh! Yes.

Reporter : Is he in?
Mrs! . Brown : Why no, he went somewhere.

Reporter : Is it true that he owns a twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : (Seeing the joke) Yes, indeed.

Reporter: Can I see the place where he found it?
Mrs. Brown : I am afraid, not because Mr. Brown objects in as much as it is
strictly private.

Reporter : Is the place far?
Mrs. Brown : No, it is quite near and convenient.

Reporter : How many years has Mr. Brown been digging the hole?
Mrs. Brown : Just for about ten months.

Reporter : Is the hole deep?
Mrs. Brown : Quite so...

Reporter : Has Mr. Brown reached the bottom of it?
Mrs. Brown : Not yet, but he is coming near...

Reporter : At about what time does Mr. Brown starts digging?
Mrs. Brown : Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.

Reporter : Does he work hard on it?
Mrs. Brown : You bet...........and how he perspires.

Reporter : Is Mr. Brown the first to dig?
Mrs. Brown : He thought he was...

Reporter : How do you know there was someone ahead of him?
Mrs. Brown : I am in a good position to say so, because I own the place.

Reporter : Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr. Brown?
Mrs. Brown : No, but for the present, he has the legal title to the site,
with my consent.

Reporter : Has Mr. Brown any helper when he works on the claim?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, I work under him...

Reporter : When do you think Mr. Brown will sell the place?
Mrs. Brown : I think not because he enjoys working on it.

Reporter : Can I see the twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, certainly (and she showed him the twelve pound baby boy).

P.S.: The reporter had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is
now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of the books that
Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a
preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was
shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was
a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move.
I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was
relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at
Green Fields hotel on the Main Road ,Pune.


The next day I went there at 7' o ! clock since I had to go to the tailor
near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the
hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned
(consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could
meet him...And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously
or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a
friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.


Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's
experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted
that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept
denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell
you something. I knew this  as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4" tall.
I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my
life an! d I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and
intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I
asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to
marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady
job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My
mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed
intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his
salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research
assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our
outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day
at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care
of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to
Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a
taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law.
Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.
Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and
wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't
want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then
open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages  something, which
Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a
liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry
Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the
negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without
his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My
father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But
Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted
him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took
us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was
always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically
today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed
companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he
would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to
you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No,
he nev ! er returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding. The
amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit
his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I
had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering
India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General
Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay . But before he joined the company
he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after
joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH
ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING
EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS
400 EACH.

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encourage! d me to see
America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for
three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain
freshin my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me
into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in
Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand
Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a
response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either
killed or kidnapped.


IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO
CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into
business. We did not have any business background .. Moreover we were
living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I
didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good
quality software. I decided to support him. Typic! al of Murty, he just had a
dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy
day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give
you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs
of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have
only three years!

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous
interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We
bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a
clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems
Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983
Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murty moved to
Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver
my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was b! orn, Murty left for the
US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join
Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to
vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my
son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his
vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and
rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father presented Murty
a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk,
secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and
his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote
programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch
of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was
taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who
gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build
something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one
another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata
with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty
made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never
the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.


Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he
did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had
the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you
want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to
know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and
that I would have to give up a job that I am qualifi! ed to do and love doing.



It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's
request.. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100
percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the
two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our
home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the
other took care of Infosys.


I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was
a big sacrificebut it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty
says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for
my success.
 
Great na…. That’s the Power of Love.
Every man need a women to motivate him and to give him a reason to live….
 

--Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul

arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've

never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out

onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow

executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent

steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and

singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied,

"Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found

herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage

and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we

danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...